Even before the foreword, written by pro wrestler and FOZZY vocalist Chris Jericho, ZAKK WYLDE warns the BLACK LABEL SOCIETY faithful, “Not a single sensical word exists in the context of this volume.” Truth be told, that’s only half accurate. The continual, yet thankfully sporadic, inane Viking references to the Odin Force of Valhalla grow tiresome very quickly. However, reading the unbelievable but true story of what went down when Zakk, ROB ZOMBIE and Stone Cold Steve Austin visited Joe’s Crab Shack in San Antonio, Texas is worth double, hell triple, the book’s sticker price. Unorthodox in every possible way, throughout the nearly 300 pages Zakk refers to his wife as “a cock-gobbling whore whom I worship and adore.” He offers advice to up-and-comers: “Play the fucking music that gets your dick hard – or your labia swollen.” Unimportant People Making Important Decisions is a great section highlighting the ludicrous inefficiencies of the music industry. So much crazy shit – literally and figuratively – has happened since Zakk, now 45, first auditioned for OZZY OSBOURNE at the age of 19; the filthiest and funniest highlights are collected here, leaving you befuddled and out of breath. In addition to Zakk sharing his world tour survival techniques, Rita Haney aka “Dime’s Hag,” discusses the friendship and bond that existed between Zakk and the late DIMEBAG DARRELL. Dave “Snake” Sabo of SKID ROW also regales readers with tales of the Moscow Peace Festival via the New Jersey Shore. From the excessive amounts of money spent on alcohol, to an almost unimaginable night involving Swedish Fish, to revealing that “on one tour I went 77 days without a shower or brushing my teeth,” Zakk leaves no stone unturned or bottle unfinished; rather ironic given the fact that he’s now completely sober. Furthermore, there’s an eight-page glossy full colour photo spread, as well as a scattering of black and white pictures throughout. And to top it all off, Zakk divulges details of the time he and EDDIE VAN HALEN pissed in sinks together instead of urinals.