Other thread will be imminently locked. Figured I'd start this one up.

My boss is probably the most insufferable little bitch I've ever met. Someday, long after I leave this place, I'm gonna run into him on the street and backhand him so hard he flies in front of a passing Wheel-Trans.

Needing to take a powerful shit, and realizing it about 30 minutes into a four hour drive. Hit a rest stop to get some lunch, and proceed down to the bathrooms. I walk in, and the smell immediately notifies me that this is not a place I want to take care of this. "Fuck it, I'll wait", I say.

My lady and I get back on the road, and proceed with the drive. I drop her off in Mississauga, and because I'm saying goodbye I completely forget about the fact my stomach feels like it's going to unleash all hell upon the world.

So I'm an hour and a half from home. I keep driving, and thankfully traffic is moving at a respectable clip. As I'm 20 minutes from home, I remember that my glass pipe is loaned out to a buddy since I haven't had weed in ages, and have had no use for it. I realize that I don't have anything to smoke the bag of herb somebody hooked me up with as a Christmas present. I roll into town, and hit three different convenience stores trying to find some glasswares. I find bongs, but those aren't at all what I need. By the time I hit the third store, I still can't find any glass pipes, and by now I need to get home. It's not even a question, it's almost an emergency. So I cave in and buy a five dollar metal pipe, and get back in the car to head for home.

Never has such an easy drive been such an incredible challenge. I'm pretty sure I should send an apology letter to my toilet. Sweet jesus.

Next time just shit at your girlfriend's house and save yourself the stress

Orrrrr...

Could've carved a makeshift pipe out of said canoe-sized poo.
But then that would make bud of any quality taste like shit.

bah-da-dum

I cursed my lapse in logic shortly after getting back on the highway

Migraines fucking suck.

- The ring of death.
- Waiting around for dope.
- Dealing with sketchy booking agents.
- Shit going missing where simple logic boils the possible culprits down to a scant few, and all of them are people who you don't want to accept that they would be such pricks.

I haven't dealt with that horseshit since high school. Get yourself a couple contacts who have their illicit shit together. When we go to get stuff out here, it's a 20 minute process. Scoop of vanilla, scoop of chocolate. Don't waste my fuckin' time.

I really hate the fact that one of the 15 CDs I just ordered from Hastings is wrong. Part of my order included four Cannibal Corpse CDs. Instead of getting the four I ordered, I got three of the CDs I ordered plus one that I did not (and already own). It might have been okay if it were a CD I didn't already have, but this is just the opposite of trucks.

Waiting on hold now to get this sorted.

Well, they're just refunding me the money and letting me keep the CD. The sucky part is that I bought the CD with a coupon code that made it 40% off. I'll just buy the CD again, but it's going to be a few dollars more.

Take out a second mortgage.

I just might.

There is letting bygones be bygones, and then there is being willfully ignorant to the fact that certain people are not to be trusted. It annoys me that many people don't see the difference and seem to just only scratch the surface if it suits them.

I guess what I'm saying is that happy-go-lucky people who will ignore someone's snake nature just to keep up appearances and seem like a "positive" person annoy me. There comes a point when you have to make a stand against two-faced assholes.

In the last 2 years, there have been 3 deaths in the family. One of those was particularly devastating which we're only just beginning to get over (as much as any family can get over such a thing). Now I'm sitting jn another hospital room watching cancer usher another family member closer to the grave. Close enough to have a DNR order and advanced directive in place. Bracing myself seems a high enough mountain to climb, but watching my mother try to do the same makes it worse. Merry fucking Christmas.

Just awful, dude. No words will do but I hope that things take a turn for the less bleak something soon for you.

My workplace is becoming more Dilbert-esque with each passing day.

sometimes making a stand means just walking away. being courteous if you HAVE to see someone (work or social situations) is reasonable, but even if you're calling someone on their shit, you're engaging with them. dont fucking engage! if someone sucks, just burn that brdge. build a wall if you have to. or, you know, move to another country

fuck nick. are you guys out on the coast? i owe you a whiskey coke or two.

Yeah. I'll be back next Thursday unless the worst happens first.

k. i hope you guys come through this ok. also, get me that photo dammit!

Sorry to hear that, Nick. Cancer sucks.

Big fucking amen to that. Hope everything goes as well as possibly can for you man.


Also on a cancer related note, recently found out one my best friends from school was recently diagnosed with Stage 3 Testicular Cancer and its spread to his liver and lungs. He started chemo pretty much right away when they found it. Don't know what his chances are, but I'm hoping for the best for him, his wife, and their two daughters. Second friend in the past two years with cancer. What the fuck. Still haven't recovered from the first one.

I lost my old man to cancer a few months ago. PM me if you need to, man.

Well he passed rather unexpectedly but it was quick. I'd expected months of the cancer eating him to the bone but it was not to be. Honestly, I'm happy for that. On the other hand, it isn't going to be a happy holiday season. RIP to the most honest, stand up guy I ever knew. He pulled no punches and bullshit no one. The quality of the world is less without him.